Archive for February, 2009
A Chocoholic Experiment
Chocoholic brings you some more musings on the subject of the greatest edible substance ever invented in this post that means to get into the nitty gritty of what happens to the brain cells when a lost cause such as myself claps eyes on a great big fat bar of chocolate!
Oh boy, this is science at its best, except it ain’t very scientific. In fact it ain’t much of anything except the ramblings of a madman who cannot stop eating chocolate! Anyway, who gives a rats ass when there are chocolate models present! I wanted to do this experiment not because I was the least bit interested in acquiring any scientific statistics on what really happens inside the brain when the eyes catch sight of a bar of chocolate bigger than the table its resting on… But because I just wanted to eat th goddam bar all to myself!
So this is how it goes dudes and dudesses…
Said chocoholic claps eyes on a massive bar of chocolate that some well meaning person just so happened to leave lying around just where I’d happen to be passing by. Oh yeah, did I say I was the said chocoholic…
Well I am. Now as I’m minding my own business walking towards a table whereupon the aforementioned bar of chocolate was innocently laid on, I just happen to look down at the table’s surface. And what do I see before me? Why, its a bar of chocolate.
…
Too late, the greedy bastard has already eaten it. Take Two:
Walking… innocently… table passing… bar of chocolate. Ah, the vision collected by my eyeballs is transferred via my optic nerve to the brain, where if figures out what it is seeing. Oh crap its been eaten again…
Take Three:
Table… walking… bar of chocolate… brain… has registered that the rectangular shape is indeed a bar of chocolate. The brain then sends a signal to the stomach saying “Get ready for the third bar, cause here it comes in one piece!!!”
Take Four:
Table… bar of… brain… stomach… ok now the stomach has been warned to prepare for the fourth bar of chocolate and the gastric juices start to flow. The saliva glands in the mouth go into overdrive as teh same signal hits there just about a nanosecond before the stomach got its message. Unfortunately, the hands got their message first and were able to dexterously unwrap the chocolate bar rapidly and force its contents into the mouth before the brain had time to realize what was going on.
End of experiment. Well, it has had to be postponed to a later date on account of the author ate all the supply of chocolate before the reasoning logical part of the brain could stop the crazy chaotic half from taking control of the hands and, well you already go that part of the story. After that he headed off to work out how to make a chocolate cake in a microwave, as its the quickest way to do something like that and better than waiting over half an hour to do it in a conventional oven!
I’ll be back with more craziness from the chocolate funny farm sometime soon!